So, you want to know something about me? Let’s see…there’s not much is there? I’m a writer, pop culture enthusiast, and part-time supervillain just trying to make my way in this crazy world. This website is my interwebs Fortress of Doom. I took all my creative writing classes at Full Sail University. I write about a lot of things but I love creative writing topics. I’m not really special in any way, but you’ve obviously come to this page for some insight into who I am. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have hit the link I daresay.
Hi, I’m Joe.
I was born in the 70’s. Yes, I’m getting old. According to legend, I started out as a tumor, very much due to the fact that I was raised in a town with the equivalent IQ of three cows and some dirt. This dire prognosis made my mother very sad as she thought she was dying of cancer. The doctor’s decided it would be in my mother’s best interest to irradiate her via chemotherapy treatment. Unfortunately, another genius doctor who actually went to a reputable school of medicine thought to give her a pregnancy test on the next visit because her tumor had tripled in size much quicker than expected. Thus, I was not irradiated nor did I gain the superpowers I so richly deserved.
Moving forward in time, I remember my mother reading me issues of Spiderman and Captain America comics in the mid-80’s as bedtime stories. I couldn’t be bothered with the rather inane stories of the Brothers Grimm, or the little Disney story books. I wanted action! I wanted heroic fisticuffs! I wanted KA-BOOM’s and KER-POW’s! Dear old mom wouldn’t make the sound effect noises, though, so I had to do them myself once I learned to read. I also fell in love with doodling little dinosaur comics around this time. My drawing ability hasn’t improved much since. This was also when I began to feel a powerful need to assert my world dominance over every-fucking-thing.
Flashing forward to the tale of woe, mom and dad got divorced so I pretty much drowned myself in fictitious worlds of wonder. I bought The Dark Knight Returns at a comic shop in Atlanta when we visited my sister once. It was the tits. I remember when the lights went out in the southeastern states due to a horrendous winter storm, I discovered Stephen King and his Gunslinger, Roland Dechain, in those dark, candlelit nights. King begat Herbert who begat Asimov and so on and so forth.
A few years later in high school, I discovered the joy of cerebral comics. Neil Gaiman, among others, introduced me to the world that took place only in dreams. It introduced a new concept to me…comics that were smart. I wanted to do smart comics. I just had to learn a thing or two about a thing or two.
Time went on in a haze of drugs and alcohol until I got married and cloned myself into three smaller versions of myself. (One is a girl and she will likely be my heir once I assert my dominion. Sorry boys but she’ll be ruthless.) During that time I joined the United States Air Force. The USAF kept me busy so I didn’t really have time to write but I’ve experienced a great many cultures and I’ve seen the world. I made notes on top of notes for the past decade and stories have been percolating in my mind. I was also learning the necessary skills with which to implement my secret dastardly plan.
I was given the AF boot due to money needs handed down by Congress and an injury which had made it very hard to maintain my physical fitness. The soon to be ex-wife and I parted ways on disagreeable terms, so I suddenly had time to invest in myself for the first time in over a decade. I got a fantastic paying job at two different companies but I absolutely hated working there, so when events happened that gave me another out I couldn’t avoid, I welcomed it. I also met a really cool chick who helped change my outlook on everything. I’m not sure if soulmates are real but if they are, I’ve found mine. Now I work for an IT company of sorts doing minor tech support. The job is great and gives me plenty of time to pursue my writing.
Working, writing, living…this is what I am.